“I was talking with a new associate of mine and they really were pushy about a referral. It was natural for me to think “Why should I do business with this person? What have they done for me? I don’t even know this person!” It really reminded me of a book I read when I first started in business that really helped me develop and give more business to people I wanted more business from called How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
It got me thinking about reciprocity in business being one of the most important fundamentals in any business, or any relationship for that matter. I always used to feel like it was so cheesy when I first got into the mortgage and real estate business back in 2003 how all my mentors and managers always talked about the “relationship” as a brand new entrepreneur I always just thought it was just business. The fact is that ALL of my best business partners, clients and customers over the years truly have developed from constant building of trust and experience together. Just like any good relationship you have a natural desire to help those that you know like and trust and make every transaction a win win situation.
So Where Do you Start with Reciprocity in Business and Networking?
According to Networking Now: The term reciprocity is at the center of relationship networking, but it is often misunderstood. Webster’s dictionary defines reciprocity as “a mutual or cooperative interchange of favors or privileges,” as when actions taken for the benefit of others are returned in kind. This leads many inexperienced networkers to expect an immediate return for any actions they take on behalf of another. Givers gain, right? Wrong.
Not every act of giving will be immediately rewarded by the recipient, and if you go into relationship networking thinking that simply giving a referral is enough to get you a referral in return, you’re confusing a relationship with a transaction. On the contrary, the idea driving Givers Gain® is actually the principle of giving without the expectation of an immediate return.
I learned many of these key concepts during my tenure as a leader with one of the premier networking and business building organizations BNI. I spent almost nine months building the Diablo Networking Circle from scratch in Walnut Creek CA. This was one of my first real experiences with business building and networking and I quickly learned that there really are two keys to creating those referral relationships.”
In business trust is not built by what you say or present but how you act and follow through. When you are looking for those key reciprocal relationships ask yourself what you can give. It doesn’t have to be a $10,000 referral or business at all. Show someone you are willing to serve. When I meet someone new I almost always ask “What can I do to help you right now?” You never know they may need a quarter for the meter or a ride to the post office. You would be surprised how fast people want to reciprocate if you simply extend a simple favor. If people see you take consistent action to add value not just to business but to their lives they will trust you, and do business with you.
Until Next time Here is to your success! Jason Wheeler 925-285-2172
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